Borneo- You're On Notice!

by now, you've all
heard it. 52 New Species found in Borneo!  And I feel the same way I do when network news violates those rape shield laws and publishes the name of the victim.  Why?
Why do you think this poor motherfucking tree frog was hiding out in Borneo?  Do you think he was doing it for press?  I don't think so. 
I'm not one of these people who thinks that he will see the world end within his lifetime.  Instead I think we will simply be fortunate enough to see the whole franchise slowly go downhill so our great grandchildren can contend with the ugly ending.  Sort of like dying after seeing the Phantom Menace.
And the reason that I can't get optimistic about our cache of Bornean Biodiversity is that without a doubt, this number will be trotted out in the future:
"Sobering news today.  Of the 52 species discovered in December 2006, only 17 could be found last month."
It's going to suck.  One more countdown to enjoy.
on the plus side:
Dateless Wonder FLORA, the KOMODO DRAGON, is with whelps!
Here's a story for you single ladies who are hearing the ominous last few ticks of your biological clocks reverberating through your fallow hips: Sister Serpents Be Doing It For Themselves!  "Life finds a Way," stutters Jeff Goldblum in Jurassic Park and indeed it does in a North England zoo as this Komodo dragon managed virgin conception just in time for Christmas.  Not everyone is happy though.  Certain Christian Family groups have expressed their dismay at this productive non-union citing that it might be a harbinger of our times.  Flora, when asked for comment, simply licked her eyeballs and flaunted her stem-cell based genitalia.
Lastly...
I wanted to apologize for a false report that I had updated my blog.  In fact I had worked on a segment on Mancrushes.  But as I looked it over, it was simply too gay to be placed here. 
Though in the interest of full disclosure I will place several of my Mancrushes (read: heroes) on the left over here.
The topic came up for me while I was watching the last few minutes of the last episode of the year of Colbert Report and a sleeveless Stephen Colbert was on stage with Peter Frampton, and the guitarist from Cheap Trick singing the theme from his show into a Talk-Box (if you know Frampton, you know what I
am talking about)  and I thought of a line from True Romance (the only good thing Christian Slater's ever been associated with) regarding Elvis:

"In "Jailhouse Rock" he's everything rockabilly's about. I mean he is rockabilly: mean, surly, nasty, rude. In that movie he couldn't give a fuck about anything except rockin' and rollin', livin' fast, dyin' young, and leaving a good-looking corpse. I love that scene where after he's made it big he's throwing a big cocktail                                                 party, and all these highbrows are there, and he's singing, "Baby You're So Square... Baby, I Don't Care". Now, they got him dressed like a dick. He's wearing these stupid-lookin' pants, this horrible sweater. Elvis ain't no sweater boy. I even think they got him wearin' penny loafers. Despite all that shit, all the highbrows at the party, big house, the stupid clothes, he's still a rude-lookin' motherfucker. I'd watch that hillbilly and I'd want to be him so bad."

Also, The President for Life of Turkmenistan died two days ago.  So my blog on that topic is officially a collector's item!  Happy hollandaise!