Twunch

The Oogum Boogum Man

Another Saturday night...

• the expression "blogging a dead horse" appears 13,400 times on the internet according to google.
• Brenton Wood is a truly expert soul singer from California whose website www.brentonwood.com offers some pretty amazing things:

• *Limited Dedicated to You Autographed Lyrics                  $5.00

  (Get your favorite Brenton Wood song dedicated to you Lyric Sheet) 8 1/2 x 11 Bond Paper, Signed by the Oogum Boogum Man himself.
  Song (none selected) Gimme Little Sign Oogum Boogum Baby You Got It Catch You On The Rebound Great Big Bundle Of Love I'm The One Who Knows Darlin' Me and You Where Were You Take A Chance Can You Dig It I Like The Way You Love Me I Think You've Got Your Fools Mixed Up Trouble

  ---

  Shipping/Handling Fee (for all orders)          $3.95

• The album on the right deserves to be purchased rather than napstered because Brenton Wood clearly appears to be a bit hardup for cash.  5 dollars for an autograph?

• I'm putting a picture of it here, in case you're too too lazy to have a look for yourself.

But seriously, why not spend five bucks to get the oogum boogum man's autograph.  You could frame it and when people ask who's autograph it is, you could flash a cryptic smile and say, Why it's the Oogum Boogum Man.  Who?  The Oogum Boogum man! 
Who's he?
He wrote also wrote the song Gimme Little Sign?
I don't think I've ever heard it.
Well, you have, it's just the words Gimme Little Sign are not actually in the song.  It goes...Just Gimme Some Kinda Sign girl, Oh My Baby!
To show me that you're mine girl! Oh yeah.
So why did they provide it a name that is not within the song? 
Because he figured that with the catchy moniker, The Oogum Boogum Man, he would have no trouble every being remembered. 
But he is.  And it looks like he may have done his website himself.  Also, if you go to the page you can see his wife or possibly his daughter modeling Oogum Boogum Man merchandise. 
Anyway.  That's not what I'm here to talk about but I just wanted to make you consider getting that album.  Also Barret Strong's greatest hits.  Which you probably have anyway unless you're a douchebag.

All in all, I'd describe the week as a push.  A push for those of you who don't gamble compulsively is when you have seventeen, and the dealer also has seventeen and the dealer pushes your money across the velvet table and back to you.  At which point you add a bunch of chips to your bet and the dealer deals you a thirteen against his visible jack.  So you know you're probably cooked.  But anyway.

Let's start with the positives.

I worked background on a movie.  With Mark Ruffalo, Joaquin Phoenix, Mira Sorvino and John Gielgud's femur.  I seriously was paid almost five hundred dollars to drive bumper cars for three hours.  It was excellent fun and I spent the day in Bristol Connecticut at an abandoned theme park.
The best moment was when I did permanent spinal damage to an eleven year old who was making fifty times my wage.  We all need something to believe in.

My play is four days away from its lone day of production.  So amazing to have a play that opens and then closes.  It seriously has the same life expectancy of a really lurid fart (plus or minus three hours).  The play is at the Wings Theatre in NYC in the West Village on Wednesday Night.  More likely than not you already know this because I've posted it everywhere.  I'm desperate for your attendance- the actors are very good. 

The bad stuff:
Yesterday I had to bounce a female bum from my hotel.  What do you call a female bum?  Hoe bo?  Bumbo? 

I dunno...

I want to give props to any of my friends who are presently having children or who have already gone on to have children.  I'm stunned by your optimism. 

Big ups to Ministers getting massages and meth and still arguing that they've done nothing wrong.  Plausible Deniability is an amazing thing.

I'm still here.  I assure you.

Suggested topics and Thurty.

There were two suggested topics.

1) The coolness of Jeff Tweedy:

I really like Wilco as a band- Jeff Tweedy's lyrics are a big part of what I like but that said I like the whole band.  I wouldn't go to see Jeff Tweedy by himself.  I might go see Wilco (finances dictate the might- I mean it's a million dollars to watch dogs urinate on stage in Manhattan).  So- I'm into Jeff Tweedy but not in that sort of religious manner that some people get into him.  I actively dislike Ryan Adams.  So, in that Jeff Tweedy is not Ryan Adams, I like him more. 

2) Bob Denver.

Bob Denver had a son.  Or a daughter.  This is a pirated anecdote.  My once fiancee told me this.  And I reprint it hear with neither permission nor fear of reproach.  My once fiancee's friend lived with Bob Denver's progeny and Mr. Denver would frequently call.  Late at night.  When his offspring was not around to take the call.  But his calls would be laced with tears and my once fiancee's friend would have to talk him down essentially.  Celebrities are dangerous.  I never met the man.  Dawn Wells ("Maryanne") I've met and hung out with while working as the craft service person on "Day Trippers" a pilot conceived, written and directed by Fran Drescher.  This was the absolute worst job I ever had.  Ever will have.  65 dollars a day.  16 hours a day.  But Dawn was nice- we talked about both being from Missouri.  And then she talked about her causes and being on the board at Stephens College for women.  So, in the final analysis I think that Dawn Wells was a considerably happier person than Bob Denver.

Two quick reviews of things that came to my attention by my continued friendship with the somedaytobeesquire Matt Schneider:

Good Night and Good Luck:

"The whole thing seems glossed with the petina of importance." said Matt.  He hit the nail so squarely on the head he may well have knocked it unconscious.  This movie sucked.  This movie was one of those awful examples of hollywood swapping handjobs.  Just awful.  And a really good looking movie that is awful is really terrible.  See Grizzly Man instead.

Hoodoo Man Blues- Junior Wells & Buddy Guy.

Listening to it now.  I bought it.  Already.  The next day after hearing it for the first time.  Staggeringly good music.  Just makes you wish you were sitting in the room with them.  It sounds like they wouldn't mind having you there.

A brief history of birthdays.

29.  Celebrated by watching an eclipse on Lido Beach.  My present girlfriend gave me twizzlers as I sat on a beach blanket next to my fiancee.  Later I would listen to the radio on the ride home as the Cardinals lost the fourth game of the world series.  Inside of ten days I was to be on the losing side of a World Series, a presidential election, and a broken engagement.  (So, please, just ask me why I'm not afraid to turn 30.)

28.  I went to rehearsal for "The Competition," the American premiere of a Russian play in Sarasota.  We may have had a drink afterward.  My not yet fiancee made me a pie out of whiskey and let me drink the whiskey after eating the pie.

27. There was an honest to God party- a halloween party that my not yet then fiancee converted into a birthday party for me. She made me a cake that looked like a cat box. We dressed like Mario and Luigi.

26. Birthday and rehearsal for 12th night.  No real memory of this.

25. I was a volunteer teacher living in a semi-religious community with two other guys.  No memory of this birthday.

24.  I ate a hamburger.  I think.  Possibly with Shelley.  And we exchanged beers.  Low key and in Los Angeles.

23.  This was a lost weekend of Phish music.  Three concerts.  Four days.  Started up with a new girlfriend.  Did an ungodly amount of violence to my brain.  Warcrimes. 

22. Rehearsed for two plays in the same day.  Macbeth from 7-10.  Bent from 11-2.  Wasn't eating.  I had a girlfriend at the time and I think she gave me a book on Humphrey Bogart. 

21.  Hid from my friends and celebrated quietly by myself until Tijuana and Jeff Gordon came over.  Probably about as self-conscious as I've ever been in my life.  I couldn't bear the thought of people talking to me, about me, or near me.

That's all.
Anyone who wants to get a drink on Thursday feel free to give me a ring- I'd love to have you.

Ken